Dear girls of this society,
I would just like to say… that I am so so
sorry. I’m sorry for all the lies you have been told by this world. I’m sorry for
all the hurt that you have experienced. I’m sorry that life has pushed you to a
point of utter confusion. I think so much of this confusion comes from girls not
recognizing where their true worth actually comes from. We were not made to be scared,
dependent, broken or unhappy little weak creatures. We were made to be bold,
joyful, strong, beautiful, and whole. We must recognize where our true worth
comes from to become all that we were made to be.
First, we have to realize that our
worth does not come from things. I know this sounds obvious to most. But just
take a second and think about a few things. How much does your mood change
depending on if you like an outfit you put on in the morning or not?
Personally, I get frustrated at my morning self’s pick of an outfit when I’m
groggily picking something out to wear before my 8:15 class. Does that happen
to you? Do you ever define yourself by your style? Do you classify yourself by
abstract things like “writer”, “emotional”, “wild”, or anything like that? We
think we are what we look like or we are what we act like. We think that
defines us. We think if we didn’t have a cell phone, no one would be able to
find us, so no one would ever talk to us, so no one would love us, so therefore
we will die old maids and will not be worth anything to anybody. Yep, I know
you have at least subconsciously had those thoughts if you’ve ever had a broken
phone. Things are easy to fill our lives with, the simplest to let define us.
But we need to stand above all that. We need to detach ourselves from the
physical objects, at least emotionally. And from the abstract things? As cliché as it sounds, don’t let the words of others (or in some cases, the words coming
from yourself) make you feel inferior or superior. If your feelings of worth in
this life change based on what other people say about you then you’re never
going to be content with yourself. I know a secret that every girl needs to
know: Your worth stays the same, regardless of the clothes that you choose to
put on that day or the daily opinions of others.
Secondly, your worth does not come
from other people. We all know that girls tend to bounce from one friendship or
relationship to the next, especially when they have been hurt. We do this in
the hope that at some point the emptiness will be filled by another person. Well, as many broken girls can tell you, that
isn’t much of a solution. We do this even if we haven’t been hurt too. We run
to tell our stories to our friends and can’t make decisions without others' input. But the more we seek fulfillment in other people, the more we realize
how broken others are and how we need to be seeking something outside this
crazy world to fill our longing hearts. This doesn’t just apply in the extremes
in life either. It goes for the girls that make their best friends their everything.
As much as we desperately need community with other strong girls, there are
some things that should be saved for our daily conversations in the chapel. We
need to rise up and recognize that to be whole we need a healthy dose of independence
from other people. Occasionally, it’s good to try something new, without the
same group of people you always do things with. And don’t fall into the female
jealousy trap. When others do things without you, it usually is not meant to be
a slap in the face. It is our scared little girl that is left in our hearts
that makes us hate when we feel left out. But actually, sometimes being left
out is a beautiful occurrence that lets people recognize that depending on
people is not the way to live a healthy life. Sometimes being slighted by other
people is a good thing for us, a blessing almost. And as I stated earlier,
girls tend to make decisions based on others. Having a few good friends who you
trust is beautiful. Not being able to make decisions on your own or not being
able to go places by yourself though… is a distortion. We need community, yes.
But overly abundant attachment to anyone is a good way to fall, headfirst, in
the wrong direction.
So where does true worth come from
then? We don’t get it from things; we don’t get it from people. We get it from
God. He made us. We are His princesses. We need to dive into His love to become
what we were made to be. If we stop
clinging to the objects and people in our lives so tightly, our hands will be
empty to be filled with the hands of the Savior. When we rest in Him, he guides
us in everything. He listens to every hurt better than any human. He fills
every void better than every relationship. He brings more joy than any Instagram
picture on your cell ever could. He gives us our worth and is crying out for
every one of His beautiful daughters to turn back to Him to find out what true
happiness is. We can only learn this if we stop holding on so tightly to the
broken things of this world and go running back into the arms of the one who
longs to bring our hearts joy.
Blessings,
~Paula
