Thoughts crashing. Pain rising. Hearts breaking. Minds screaming.
Broken. Broken. Broken.
Does it ever end? We ask ourselves this every time we get out of bed. We struggle to have any thoughts at all in the morning, let alone a joyous one, as we make our way to our coffee makers.
We look at our phones. We see the smiling faces.
Smiles. Happiness. Cheesy quotes. Christian thankfulness. Laughter. Perfect. Perfection.
Our minds fight to understand this dissonance caused by the influx of information that shouts at us: YOUR LIFE SUCKS and everyone else's is perfect. YOU ARE A MESS and everyone else has their life together. YOU ARE BROKEN AND WEAK and everyone else is stronger than Hercules. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WITH DOUBTS and everyone else would think you're insane if you admitted it. You are B R O K E N...and everyone else is whole.
This is what we hear; this is what we tell ourselves. It is good to share our joys but that is not what people do. People mask their sorrows by sharing false perfections. "MY LIFE IS PERFECT" we scream from our facebooks. The practice of sharing our joys to uplift others has turned into a mantra of: "don't you dare mention brokenness, I wouldn't know".
What a sad thing that we no longer know how to really see the other people in our lives. It's a paradox. We know the brokenness in ourselves, but we don't share it. We forget that others are human, and therefore we forget that they are silent about their brokenness too. Facebook, twitter, instagram, pinterest, snapchat...they consume our life and they are what is filling our souls. They show us the beauty of all our friends, the special moments in a life, and laughter of a night. But what they can never show us is a whole person. Because a whole person is not a constant stream of happys.
A whole person is messy. A whole person is broken. A whole person is weak. A whole person cries out because he cannot do it anymore. We know this. We know this deep in our soul because we have to fight daily to not give up. There are both ups and downs to life of course, but every day we see our brokenness manifest itself in one way or another. But as soon as we feel we are the only one that has this brokenness, we feel alone. And the more we see the false perfections projected everywhere, the more alone we feel. The more alone we feel, the more we share our own false perfections. And then the more others around us feel alone. It is is a vicious, vicious circle.
But breaking the circle is not something that is out of reach for us. Know that you are not alone on this journey. Know that your weakness is something beautiful. Know that you can share in others brokenness because you are broken too. The communion of persons is something deeply rooted in ourselves. Rejoice with others in their joys and mourn with others in their sadness. But do not forget the beauty of a real live soul: The beauty of brokenness, not the beauty of a screen.
Do not forget the most beautiful brokenness of all: the cross.
"[Christ's] power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor. 12:9
"Love endures ALL things." 1 Cor. 13:7
"In my deepest wound, I saw Your glory, and it dazzled me." ~ St. Augustine
***Inspired by life and also by articles written on theyoungcatholicwoman.com
