I'm a month away from the beginning of the end of my days as a college student. Only two semesters left of living with best friends, taking "study breaks" to get ice cream, going to college dances, falling in and out of love with subjects, dream chasing like its my job, and just everyday normal college student shenanigans.
I know it's a little early to be writing this post, after all, I have a whole YEAR left before I say good bye to my little undergraduate career. But something in me tells me I'll forget where I was right in this pre-senior year moment when I cross that stage at graduation... and I don't want to forget.
The thought of having one more year left to squeeze in all the events, classes, and new friendships I can is really scary to me. I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING. Why didn't I take Rhetoric when I had the chance? Should I have added a theo minor? What about a math minor? MATH PEOPLE MAKE ALL THE MONEY. Should I even bother making new friends? I run out of time just to have coffee with the old ones most of the time!
These are the worries that fill the mind of the silly little girl in me. And those don't even cover the worries of the future AFTER graduation. My heart is currently being pulled in about 5 different directions as to what I should do when I graduate. I've prayed and I've talked and I've thought and I've given up. And in the process...I'm learning a few things.
I'm going to sound like a hippy, please bear with me though.
1) Go with the flow. Or rather, go with the Holy Spirit guided flow.
I know, I know, we get told "just trust" quite a bit. And it ends up with us frustrated, lying on our beds, staring at the ceiling, hoping that someone will bring us caffeine because otherwise we aren't getting out of that bed for anything.
But that's not trust. Talking our worries into the ground is not trust. Going with the Holy Spirit guided flow involves planning what we need to take the next steps, and trusting that as long as we keep walking, the H.S. will open the doors for us to walk through.
There's nothing wrong with planning, we need to plan a lot of things out.
But for almost college grads? Pick an option, walk towards it, and open yourself up to walk through the doors that just seem to flow. This applies to the friendships that start your senior year AND any after graduation plans. The Lord doesn't work through unrest, he works through peace.
2) Remember that the unknown is a beautiful thing.
When you don't know which passion you'll be following next year, but you still say "use me God"... you're in the right spot. This time of unknown can be a beautiful place to grow.
3) Give a "perfect effort" as that famous high school football coach once said.
You don't have to be a perfect friend, a perfect student, and know perfectly what your future will entail. Because... ummm that's not going to happen. But you should strive to try in everything to do the best you can, with a humble acceptance of our limitations.
It is such a blessing to be in the numbered few that have gotten a college education, I don't want to waste it in worry.
Dear future Paula,
I hope you lived a beautiful senior year, making decisions based on love and faith, and trusting that when you leave in May, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. *
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